You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
