it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
