There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
