I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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