We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
