I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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