i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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