And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
