I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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