I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
