he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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