so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
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