sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
