No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You're like the curious george of whores
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
