your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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