wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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