Me too!
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
