we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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