sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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