did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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