Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
