I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
