Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
My day in three words: secret purse cake
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
