Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
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