i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
