I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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