If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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