Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
