just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
