That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
