i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
