Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
