he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
