Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
