she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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