Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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