trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
