did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
