She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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