He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
