So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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