I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
