Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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