i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
