After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He keeps bees of course he's weird
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
