dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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