I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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