Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
