Sponge bath it is.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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