my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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