I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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