wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
